A sacrifice to be real must cost, must hurt, must empty ourselves.
Cost. Hurt. Emptying. Yes, but some things are worth sacrificing in order to better cherish that which will last forever.
Numerous studies have been done and books written showing that time is our most precious possession, D. Ross Campbell writes. Focused attention does require time, and sometimes a lot of it. It may mean giving up something parents would rather do. Loving parents will detect when a child desperately needs focused attention, even if at a time when the parents feel least like giving it.
To articulate the complex simply, it's just time. Period. It's time for me to gaze into faces instead of a computer screen. It's time to feel fingers in mine instead of a keyboard. It's time to ponder what's going on inside my children's heads rather than what's going on in the minds of my readers.
I took a little break last spring in hopes that a three week social media fast would do the trick. But the truth is, you can't change deep priorities and engrained habits in a few weeks.
I'm not a multi-tasker. In fact, I'm quite focused. My mind doesn't flitter to and fro. I really wish it did. You see, I'm intense with tasks, and engaging in community requires discipline sometimes. Yeah, even the community within the four walls of my home.
While they're more independent than ever, my children hold questions and contemplations deep within their hearts. They feel. They think. They react. They initiate. They celebrate. They grieve. And their dad and I have been specifically chosen by the Redeemer to guide them through it all.
After a busier-than-expected summer, I'm eliminating much in my life in order to better engage with those I love the most. And sadly, this repurposed blog is part of the simplifying process. Oh, how I wish it wasn't true. Oh, how I wish I was like many of you who can multi-task beautifully.
I'm deeply grateful. Please hear my sincerity. As many of you know, this blog that was initially created to encourage others has ended up healing me during some originally unforeseen transitions in our lives. God's grace is so mysterious sometimes.
I've loved meeting many of you through cyberspace. I've loved connecting with those of you who live near me in "real life". I'm thankful for your vulnerability, your authenticity, your encouragement over and over again.
But two little ones aren't so little anymore. And their thoughts aren't so little anymore, either. And while their mom feels inadequate most of the time, her Redeemer has a way of speaking through her brokenness when she's ready and available.
Yeah, it's just time. Thank you for walking with me these past two years. We may meet again someday, but for now, I must choose a different road. I can't wait to hear where your own paths take you.